tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-758827403220609122012-02-16T11:05:06.192-08:00SaiLhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15063241610865174023noreply@blogger.comBlogger71100tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-75882740322060912.post-42093485499749614822009-11-29T08:39:00.000-08:002009-11-29T09:10:59.546-08:00低处往上望人感觉自卑<br />低处往上望人感觉畏惧<br />低处往上望人感觉羡慕<br />低处往上望人感觉压迫<br /><br />站起来望上面的人就化解了，平等了<br /><br />远处望着人的背影感到哀伤<br />远处望着人的背影感到遥不可及<br />远处望着人的背影感到孤单<br />远处望着人的背影感到被遗忘了<br /><br />跑向远处的人就拉近距离了，有伴了，开心了<br /><br />一个小小的行动就可一点点地改变一切<br />错误的判断后行动则停滞不前<br /><br />可惜在毫无动力的情况下这一连贯的流动将不会开始<br />拿捏不定的情绪，脑袋永远静不下来<br />期待的日子快到来就好了<br />没有动力的活着<br />少做少说多忍就减少面对痛苦<br />至到终点<br />希望我的跑程会比其他人来得短 :)<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/75882740322060912-4209348549974961482?l=solitaryserenade.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>SaiLhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15063241610865174023noreply@blogger.com37tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-75882740322060912.post-12365435279124855692009-10-12T12:26:00.000-07:002009-10-12T13:26:53.833-07:00前几小时一直在幻想令自己尽快离世的方法<br />还真期望那幻想的一切真的能够发生<br /><br />如果能回到过去的话我宁愿不曾出现在这个世上<br />高兴的滋味我真的不太会记得<br />像糖果一样溶掉就没了<br />在找到下一颗糖果的时候已经是什么时候的事？<br />就算放进嘴里也不会太兴奋<br />短暂的时间一过，又恢复原样了<br /><br />真是浪费啊<br />我想如果我的生命能够给那些想活下去的人就好了<br />说我逃避也好转钻牛角尖也好<br />这些话已经对自己说了无数次<br />不再奏效了<br /><br />社会不鼓励自我了结生命<br />行尸走肉，苟且在世间逃避地活下去真不好受<br />对花钱在我身上的父母真是抱歉了<br />如果是另一个较好的灵魂寄宿在这我这个身体里<br />以及懂得独立，懂得自律的人格<br />对父母来说较美好吧<br />也不必他们忧心<br />住进这个躯体里长达23年真是抱歉了<br /><br />哭了，笑了<br />之后又回到忧郁的心情<br />今天真是糟透了<br />真想适应这个糟糕的心情<br />弄成酱的心情想赶稿也不行了<br />抱歉啊~<br />至少，写完以后心情没那么糟了<br /><br />我再好好的思考及反省吧<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/75882740322060912-1236543527912485569?l=solitaryserenade.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>SaiLhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15063241610865174023noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-75882740322060912.post-47493098008746241652009-09-23T04:38:00.000-07:002009-09-23T05:12:44.374-07:00真不公平啊…有才华的人一个接一个死去…<br />没才华的人为什么依然在世<br />我没想到一个外人的死亡竟会让我情绪起伏那么大<br />给人们带来那么多欢乐的作者并没有人希望他离去……<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/75882740322060912-4749309800874624165?l=solitaryserenade.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>SaiLhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15063241610865174023noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-75882740322060912.post-46354250303164315462009-07-06T08:03:00.000-07:002009-07-06T09:03:32.315-07:00这几天基于姑姑的到来，我过得很好，也很享受这几天的一切。享受过后压力就自然没了，是时候认真考虑一下自己到底要怎样来走接下来的路。我目前的生活没有重心，论理想论事业论感情，这里头并没有自己想真正继续下去路…或许目前整体的目标一直受到种种限制，有时候把目标定得太高，所有东西一定要处理得很完美，一定要出人头地给人家看……这种思想到最后都变了反效果，结果就是压力，达不到目标而变成懒散，对这些目标失去了兴趣…结果就什么都成不了……已经6个月过去了，我之前规划的东西什么都没做到。<br /><br />其实“对事不对人”这个道理现在才慢慢得明白……正视问题找出问题，然后对症下药。整天责备自己对事情其实并没有帮助，到最后对自己的怨恨只会越来越多，把自己封闭在一个小小的世界，就这么一世。很想去享受身边的一切，对任何事情都感兴趣。看着身边的朋友个个都有时间去了解属于自己没完没了的资讯，一方面又能享受的作画。如果自己都能达到这最基本的一步…才有资格再去考虑理想及其他的一切……<br /><br />不自然的交际是不必要的一切，对努力去喜欢自己感兴趣的目标，交际就自然而然会来到身边。<br /><br />目前最重要的课堂就是放松自己，努力地去喜欢感兴趣的事物。XD<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/75882740322060912-4635425030316431546?l=solitaryserenade.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>SaiLhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15063241610865174023noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-75882740322060912.post-63889286999277131212009-06-30T17:06:00.000-07:002009-06-30T17:33:11.080-07:00i know dad blame me m too free to write all those thing in msn/twitter even he didn't say it directly. or i am too sentitive, hahahaha. If really it's the second situation I should feel sad for myself. I felt lucky i didn't tear for yesterday, but started from early morning in today it ruins again :D how sad. see, my mood of today is spoild edi, i wonder i still hv the mood to work or not. so sad with dad's words. as i told him i still hv money, but he still want to give. Is this consider not believing me? why he is asking but still ignore the answer and give. my pride is very very the high which i should hv change, i feel this kind is an insult for not believing me, even a so small matter...maybe got problem one is not the world, but me. i believe following days still got alot a small tiny case will bring me to the suffer hell, why should i exist in the world? where's the happy?<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/75882740322060912-6388928699927713121?l=solitaryserenade.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>SaiLhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15063241610865174023noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-75882740322060912.post-16253769250705202382009-06-29T06:33:00.000-07:002009-06-29T07:42:13.529-07:00就你什么东西啊！你哪根葱！就不想被你说！对！任何的小事都不行！你明白什么？！就，请你闭嘴。<br />火气一下子就来了……说自己的哥哥酱子……但自己明显更糟糕……<br />我很想忍忍忍，但绝对忍不了对自己喜欢的人有非分之想的家伙。那家伙明显是其中一个。<br />那家伙…那家伙…我为什么要去看见及忍受他所做的一切，知道了他的所做所为为什么要由我来消化！那些忧虑每一次都将一整天弄糟糕了…对着她还要扮没事，这算什么……做什么都要顾虑…那家伙就可以为所欲为的说出心底话……你碍不碍眼啊…<br /><br />今天花了自觉好看的东西…但似乎又倒了大众的口味……输不起啊……问题到底在哪里……<br />……<br />一切就这样结束就好了…<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/75882740322060912-1625376925070520238?l=solitaryserenade.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>SaiLhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15063241610865174023noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-75882740322060912.post-50284433565889119602009-06-28T08:47:00.000-07:002009-06-28T10:06:13.229-07:00The first emo entry in the emo blog :D<br /><br />Actually today quite happy when finding out the way to make composition looks interesting through lines. but bcoz of the feedback, it makes me doubt on my mind...<br /><br />I dunno how to place myself in the accurate place either in life, in hobby or in career. a drawing which maybe u think it's okie but actually NOT at all to some ppl. Expected too much will be falling much as well. I don't mind to correct my mindset/thinking in some situation, but the duration expecting on it it's not a good timing. It will ruin the days. so it happened. well ppl should learn to acccept reality, but the solution. maybe until now i still don't understand, nervous feeling coming in. the time when looking on solution, others might overtake you from behind...which i mnd the most. bcoz of my meaningless pride. it's unremoveable whenever i m trying to.<br /><br />It might be just a little thing not even call an incident in a day, but it influenced me successfully. Feeling i just like a kid although i already 23, but still leeching home with a super-low income, doing nothing and emo at home. I m the only one stopping at the main point, seeing people passing by. When people give a hand to pull self away, i always reject it. i dunno this kind of action can called it as low confident or high pride. It looks like I don't want it bcoz of afraid; it looks like i don't cherish your help bcoz of pride. it's so different thinking i realise at the same time.<br /><br />Maybe time will telling everything. I just need to wake my brain up and remember everyday.<br /><br />-<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/75882740322060912-5028443356588911960?l=solitaryserenade.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>SaiLhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15063241610865174023noreply@blogger.com0